And then our little guy turned one!! I remarked to Brenton that morning if I could have seen this day a year ago, I wouldn't have worried at all. Ryan came into this world with an Apgar score of 1, and with doctors informing us he'd have organ failure, brain damage, and any other number of problems. A year later, he is completely normal. In fact, he's better than normal. At his one-year checkup our pediatrician was nothing but smiles, informing us that Ryan is uncharacteristically bright, and we have absolutely nothing to worry about from his birth.
To those of you who prayed and fasted for our son and family at the time of his birth, our gratitude is far greater than we can express. Thank you for your faith, support, gifts, love, prayers, sacrifice, and hope for our family. We are so grateful. We know that much of his and my recovery are due to those prayers.
When I was rushed to the OR to deliver Ryan, Brenton was not able to be in the room with me. I was terrified. There were doctors everywhere, yet no one would tell me anything. As I lay there all alone, I felt the presence of several women from my and Brenton's family. I knew they were seasoned mothers who had been through the trial of giving birth. Some of them were next to my doctor, literally guiding his hands as he pulled Ryan out. Others were right next to me, telling me to hold on and be brave. I knew they cared about me and my son because we were part of their posterity. When Ryan was pulled out and rushed to the NICU some of them went with him, telling me they wouldn't leave him and not to worry. I don't know who each of them was, but someday when I pass through this life I will embrace and thank them. I know they came to be with me because of your prayers, and I will be forever grateful.
I did not intend for this to be a pensive post, but birthdays, anniversaries, and milestones tend to be times of reflection, and allow us to see the many blessings our Heavenly Father has given us. Our lives are not without trials, but as I look back on mine I can see how much I have grown from every difficult experience. There is not a single day that I don't stop and watch my son in complete awe at the miracle he is. When I was a little girl I was in a similar situation to Ryan. I've never understood that experience very well because I was so young and have no memory of it. Going through a similar trial with Ryan has helped me to realize more what it was like for my own parents, and my love for them has only increased. Perhaps the Lord knew this would be the only way for me to understand that principle.
I know that families are forever. I know that God lives, and He watches over my family. He hears prayers, and answers them. He is concerned for me and my family. He loves me more than I will ever know, but as I watch and love my own son, I can see glimpses of that same love He has for me, and my cup runneth over.
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